Coming soon to theaters: Miss Conception starring Heather Graham

You know, no shit - just the other day, I was wondering: whatever happened to Heather Graham? It's like after doing 1999's Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, her career has suffered or something. (Got me how that one happened... Ahem.)

Okay, but every so often, her name pops up in obscure indie-ish films (Gray Matters), yadda, yadda, yadda... but rarely is it for something I'm even remotely interested in seeing (Broken). And it's too bad, because I've actually missed her goofy charm making its appearance in the mainstream (Scrubs).

 I'll tell you what, though: after seeing the promo trailer for her new movie, Miss Conception, I'm beginning to wish that she just would have remained obscure.

See, for a while now, I've been happy to just sit back and wait for Heather Graham to rebuild her career - to come back shiny and fresh and new. I've been waiting for the Heather Graham I once believed in to swoop in and blow everyone away with her newly discovered sense of self, and a new ability to choose a role that will actually garner her some respect.

But now that I've seen this new trailer, I can't sit idly by any longer; I must speak out. I feel obligated, Miss Conception Graham, to clue you in on something: I don't think that this film - the plot for which revolves around a pre-menopausal woman achingly desperate to have a baby - is going to do you any favors. I mean, last year was the year of preggo films (see: Juno, Knocked Up); this is so five minutes ago. And even if it wasn't, did you really have to do it with a fake English accent?:

Really?!

And did it have to be in a film that is so obviously cliché - that looks so vapid, so vacant, so cheesy that I can barely sit through the preview? Come on, Heather. You're better than this! Read some self-help books; get a therapist. Do what needs to be done! Because I believe I can speak for all of your fans when I say: we want our Heather Graham back: the one that is the little blonde cutie pie with the goofy grin and awkward charm. The one that shows some brains, some spunk, and is downright adorable. We wish you luck, Ms. Graham, we really do. But this version of yourself: the English accented desperate bimbo? Well, she's just gotta go.

• Miss Conception starring Heather Graham and Mia Kirshner: First Look Studios. Release Date: June 6, 2008. Tickets available online at Fandango.com.

Say what you want about Madonna, the woman has some serious cojones.

At 49 years old (why does everyone prematurely keep calling her "50"?!?) she is still proving that she can keep up with the youngest, hottest music acts out there. (If you haven't heard her latest single, "4 Minutes" featuring Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, it's hot!) From pop to rock to dance to flavors of hip-hop, the Queen of Pop is yet again proving that she can hang with the big boys...

... and in more ways than one.

Just an example of how she oh-so-stylishly continues to tell the world to go fuck themselves is how she presents herself: take no prisoners, offer no apologies. Already, she's had people slamming her based on the imagery from her new album as gross or too explicit "for a woman her age" and, yet, while the world is armed to the teeth to write her off as a washed up old lady, she still doesn't give a rat's ass.

God, I love that about her.

Hard Candy, Madonna's latest release, is due out on Tuesday - and our preliminary review only requires two words: fucking. awesome.

Don't believe me? Starting today, she's offering up the album for free on MySpace.

Like whatcha hear? (Betcha do!) Preorder it on Amazon.com - or check it out on iTunes. The official U.S. release date is Tuesday, April 29th.

• Watch the Video for "4 Minutes":

When you're home from work or school, sick with something icky, sometimes there is nothing you can do but sit on the couch and veg out. Typically, this means watching movies and TV... but not just any flick 'll do.  There are certain criteria that must be strictly adhered to... and we're here to help.

First, the movie and/or TV show must be entertaining without having too much eye candy (just in case motion sickness will do you in), and it can't be too intellectual, either - because your head will be clogged with too much nastiness to think too hard. Nothing involving gore or food (or gory food, for that matter) will do either, because if you're home with, say, the flu - you just might upchuck at the sight of it. Chick flicks seem to work well for this purpose - although some classics will do, as well. Essentially, you're looking for those DVDs that are the Hollywood equivalent of chicken soup: soothing for the soul, but not unsettling to the tummy.

And so, without further ado, here is our list of:

The Top 10 DVDs to Watch When You're Sick

#10

Frasier: The Tenth Season starring Kelsey Grammar and David Hyde Pierce. Sometimes, all you need is a good laugh - and this is arguably one of the seasoned sitcom's best. If you're not in the mood for the entire season, pop in Disc 2 and see "Door Jam," which features the Crane brothers at their absolute best (and most pompous!). Then toss in Disc 3 and watch "Fraternal Schwinns," where, as grown men, they learn to ride bikes.

#9

Enchanted starring Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey. Really, any Disney or Pixar movie could be substituted here, although this latest of Disney films covers all bases: cuteness, charm, and laughs.

#8 

Duets starring Gwenyth Paltrow and Paul Giamatti. Alright, so I may be one of the only people on the planet who loved this movie - but that's precisely what makes it such a great film for a sick day. (I mean, come on: a movie about karaoke competitions? What can be more fun?) Huey Lewis may not be able to act much, but he sure can sing - and Paul Giamatti, Gwenyth Paltrow, and Maria Bello make valiant efforts up on stage. Perfect for singing along with - and then napping through.

#7 

Star Trek Voyager: Seasons Three and Four starring Kate Mulgrew. Ah, yes... Sometimes there's nothing better than good old fashioned campiness. Season Three is when the show really gets its legs; if you're in it for the sexy eye candy, though, skip to Season Four when Jeri Ryan makes her appearance as sexy Borg Seven of Nine.

#6 

You've Got Mail starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. I'm particularly fond of this ultimate chick flick - not just for its headliners, but for its heart. It's a feel-good movie that is simply perfect for cuddling up with and enjoying under a blanket - and with a cup of hot tea.

#5 

Dirty Dancing starring  Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. Oh yeah, baby, the ultimate of '80s movies. Dancing, sex, comedy, drama... this "Baby's" got it all. And since you've seen it so many times already, it's easy to have on in the background while you're zoning out on sinus medication.

#4 

Dan In Real Life starring Steve Carell and Juliette Binoche. The ultimate family feel-good flick, the heart and comedic warmth from Dan In Real Life is bound to make you feel a bit better... and maybe even crave a few pancakes.

#3 

Veronica Mars: The First Season starring the absolutely adorable Kristen Bell. Mystery, smarts, fun. It's the ultimate of Nancy Drew-ish crime soaps, with a bit of Buffy-styled attitude thrown in for good measure. Pop in Disc 1 and I dare you not to fly through at least a half dozen episodes before the day is done.

#2

 Legally Blonde starring Reese Witherspoon. Who'd of thought that a movie about blonde bimbos could be so inspiring? Witherspoon's portrayal of sorority girl Elle Woods is absolutely classic and well worthy of position #2 on our list.

#1

Ferris Bueller's Day Off starring Matthew Broderick. "Bueller... Bueller..." Yep, this choice was obvious - but that doesn't make it any less apropos. This is, after all, the representative film for skipping out on school; why not make it your very own anthem for sick days, too?

Now through April 24th, you can visit eBay for your chance to bid on exclusive, autographed posters from The Bank Job starring Jason Statham.

The winning bidders will receive studio certified posters signed by the cast along with a signed letter verifying their authenticity.  Auctions begin today and will continue through the film's opening weekend.  Interested fans and collectors should be aware there are only a limited amount (10, from what I'm reading) of posters available. 

Included in the auction is: a signed poster from Jason Statham and a hand-signed letter from a Lionsgate executive.

Very cool for fans of the movie, as well as collectors. And, it's for a good cause, too: All (and by all, I mean 100% of the) proceeds will benefit the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation.

The starting bid is $84.99 plus $9.99 shipping. Click here to view the auction, which ends April 24th.

• Film Synopsis:
  
  Inspired by the infamous 1971 robbery that took place at the Lloyds Bank in Marylebone London, Lionsgate's The Bank Job stars Jason Statham (Transporter, Snatch, Crank, The Italian Job) and Saffron Burrows (Klimt, Enigma). The highly-charged heist thriller tautly interweaves high-level corruption, murder and sexual scandal in 1970s England. 
  
  A car dealer with a dodgy past and new family, Terry (Statham) has always avoided major-league scams. But when Martine (Burrows), a beautiful model from his old neighborhood, offers him a lead on a foolproof bank hit on London's Baker Street, Terry recognizes the opportunity of a lifetime. Martine targets a roomful of safe deposit boxes worth millions in cash and jewelry. But Terry and his crew don't realize the boxes also contain a treasure trove of dirty secrets - secrets that will thrust them into a deadly web of corruption and illicit scandal that spans London's criminal underworld, the highest echelons of the British government, and the Royal Family itself... the true story of a heist gone wrong... in all the right ways.

• Watch the Trailer:
  
  

Press Release from Sony Creative Software

The Princess Bride Game Theme Remix Contest on AcidPlanet.com gives fans an exclusive opportunity to remix the title track for new downloadable video game based on the popular movie 

NEW YORK, NY - April 16, 2008 - ACIDplanet.com one of the Internet's premier sites for user-generated music, video content, computer-based recording and remixing tools, today launched a contest to develop a new version of the film's title theme song timed with a new downloadable video game based on the classic 1987 film, The Princess Bride. Contestants can download the components from the Sony Creative Software ACIDplanet.com website and remix their own title track from The Princess Bride Game (available at http://www.princessbridegame.com/) created by Worldwide Biggies and debuting in June 2008.

"The Princess Bride movie has an extensive fan base that's very excited about the new Princess Bride Game based on the classic film," said Albie Hecht, founder and CEO of Worldwide Biggies Inc. "We're pleased to be offering fans a unique way to participate in the creation of the game through the ACIDplanet.com theme contest."

The Princess Bride Game combines the best of movie-quality animation with the best of casual and adventure games - all based on the classic hit movie. The Princess Bride Game allows players to compete for high scores and advance through dozens of levels that are simple to start, addictive to play and challenging to master. In order to live happily ever after, would-be heroes will have to help the Princess and her True Love defeat dastardly villains, survive the Fire Swamp, concoct miracle remedies, and vanquish the evil prince. Along the way, players will take on the roles of and interact with a cast of beloved Princess Bride characters including Buttercup, Westley, Inigo, Fezzik, Vizzini and Miracle Max.

"The ACIDplanet.com community has consistently developed creative and edgy tracks for numerous remix contests, so we're very pleased to be teaming up with Worldwide Biggies to help showcase these talents through a project that will be used in a high-profile real-world application," said Dave Chaimson, vice president of global marketing for Sony Creative Software. "We're looking forward to hearing the themes ACIDplanet contestants develop with the new Princess Bride Game and are sure that the quality of the submissions will make it tough to choose a winner."

Contestants may download the components to The Princess Bride Game theme song starting today and must submit their remix entry by midnight May 22, 2008. ACIDplanet remix contestants may use Sony Creative Software ACID XPress loop-based music production software that users can download for free or they may also use their software of choice.

The winning entry will be selected by the producers of the game and will be featured on www.princessbridegame.com as an exclusive world premiere this summer. Other prizes for The Princess Bride Game ACIDplanet.com remix contest include a Debutante Butterfly guitar from Daisy Rock, Sony Creative Software Vegas Pro 8, ACID Pro 6, Cinescore Theme Packs, Sony Creative Software Loop Libraries and a Sony Portable DVD player.

For more information and complete contest rules, please visit: www.acidplanet.com.

• Watch the Trailer:
  
  

DVD Review: There Will Be Blood starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Dano

There Will Be Blood - screenwriter/director Paul Thomas Anderson's Oscar-winning film about the 1920s oil industry - is not a film to be taken lightly. The characters are insane, their motivations dark. This is not a movie with a light at the end of any hypothetical tunnel; instead, it is a brutal portrayal of the cutthroat oil industry - and, as the story showcases a battle between oil men and church figureheads, without any clear lines of good and evil - it lends a moderately interesting, very creepy take on organized religion as well.

Even the music in There Will Be Blood (composed by Jonny Greenwood, the guitarist from Radiohead) can be considered its own character throughout this jarring film. It is disconcerting music to say the least; harsh string arrangements and creepy segways make the movie feel more like a horror flick than a period drama. And more often than not, it left me feeling unsettled and on edge. Unfortunately, where some may find it groundbreaking, I found it to be simply distracting from the rest of the movie.

It won't be any surprise when I tell you that the main reason for watching this film is Daniel Day-Lewis, who most deservedly won the Oscar for his riveting portrayal of 1920s oil man Daniel Plainview. In There Will Be Blood, Day-Lewis proves for his fans yet again that he is truly one of the most accomplished actors of our time; he not only acts the role, he becomes it: from the mannerisms to the speech patterns, to the brazen - and often insane - persona. Plainview is a man who will stop at nothing - and protect no one - to further his oil rigging business, and Day-Lewis captures this raw intensity with a passion that is unmatched.

On the flip side, Paul Dano's excessive overacting and simultaneous whining (as Plainview's rival, the town's local preacher) is enough to make you want to pull your hair out. His character is annoying with a capital A . Other personalities throughout the film - such as Daniel's adored and then abused son H.W. (played by Dillon Freasier as a boy and then, later, by Russell Harvard as a man - who, in both cases, end up presenting the character as oddly flat), and Kevin O'Connor as Daniel's creepy would-be brother Henry, leave the viewer with few characters to empathize with.

Yet even beyond that, my biggest issue with this film is that - for an epic drama - it spent much more time on developing the acting talent than it did nurturing the plotline. Often, I found myself wanting to tune out (although Day-Lewis's performance did keep me riveted nonetheless) because I couldn't find my footing in terms of caring for the story. All in all, I wondered: What's the point? Because this is primarily just a story of a self-destructive, careless, mean, and utterly insane man. There isn't any growth, there isn't any climactic rise and fall... nothing in this film left me even remotely caring: for its characters... or for its plot. And, quite frankly, I didn't care what happened to the characters - because their motivations - no matter how psychotic - were decidedly unclear. As a result, I felt physically and emotionally spent after watching There Will Be Blood - mostly because of Day-Lewis's unique brand of intensity, but also because I had to exert so much damn effort over the 158 running minutes of the film to enjoy it.

This is an interesting review to write, because There Will Be Blood is a must-see movie - but not, necessarily, one of Hollywood's great films. That is, all things considered, the performance of Daniel Day-Lewis, as well as the cinematographic vision portrayed by screenplay writer and director Paul Thomas Anderson, is well worth the strife you'll otherwise have to pay for sitting through this painfully long, brutally downcast, and often plodding film.

• The Daily Dawdler Rating: C

• Paramount Vantage, Rated R. DVD Release Date: 04/08/08. Available online at Amazon.com.

• Watch the Trailer: